Answering Machine Song

Monty Python

If you want to leave a message after the tone 
Then speak clearly and I'll call you when I'm home 
Just say your words and say your name 
Leave the time and date you called 
And I'll get back to you 
Unless you're completely a boring old fart 

If you want to leave a message after the tone 
And darling, please forgive me, I'm not home 
I'm out shopping or trying to buy a dress 
So please leave your message, unless you're in distress 

Please leave a message after the tone 
I'm so sorry this is taking me so long 
I hope you're not calling from Australia 
Or far from Singapore 
Or this whole thing is costing you a fortune 
As well as being a bore 

(sobbing) Leave a message, please leave me a message after the tone 
Because ... alright I am! I am home! I am, I am, I am! 
I'm locked up in the bathroom all alone 
Please leave a-me a message after the tone 


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