Hit the Switch

Bright Eyes

i'm staring out into that vacuum again 
from the back porch of my mind 
the only thing that's alive 
i'm all there is 
and i start attacking my vodka 
stab the ice with a straw 
my eyes have turned red as stoplights 
you seem ready to walk 
you know i'll call you eventually 
when i wanna talk 
till then you're invisible 

cause there's a switch that gets hit 
& it all stops making sense. 
& in the middle of drinks, maybe the 5th 
or the 6th, i'm completely alone at a 
table of friends. 
i feel nothing for them. 
i feel nothing. 
nothing. 

well, i need a break from the city again 
I think I'll ship myself back west. 
I got a friend there, she says "hey, any time." 
unless that offers expired, i have been less 
than frequent. 
she's under no obligation to indulge every whim 
& i'm so ungrateful, i take, she gives &forgives. 
& i keep forgetting it. 
& each morning she wakes with a dream to 
describe, something lovely that bloomed from 
her beautiful mind. I said "I'll trade you one 
for two nightmares of mine. i have some where 
i die. I have some where we all die." 

I'm thinking of quitting drinking again, 
i know i said that a couple of times. &i'm 
always changing my mind, well, i guess i am. 
but there's this burn in my stomach 
& there's this pain in my side. 
& when i kneel at the toilet, &the mornings 
clean light pours in through the window 
sometimes i pray i don't die. 
I'm a goddamn hypocrite. 

but the night rolls around &it all starts making 
sense. there is no right way or wrong way, you 
just have to live. so i do what i do & at least I 
exist. what could mean more than this? 
what could mean more? 
mean more? 
ooh.

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