Marrow

Ani Difranco



the answer came like a shot in the back while you 
were running from your lesson, which might explain why years later all you 
could remember was the terror of the question. plus, you weren't listening 
hard, you were stockpiling canned goods and making a bomb shelter of our 
basement. and i can't believe you let the moral go by while you were soaking in 
the product placement. and where was your conscience? where was your 
consciousness? and where did you put all those letters that you wrote to 
yourself but could not address? yeah, i'm a good kisser, and you're a fast 
learner, and that kind of thing could float us for a pretty long time. and 
then one day, you'd realized you've memorized my phone number, and you'll 
call it and find it's a disconnected line. cuz i got tossed out the window of 
love's el camino and i shattered into a shower of sparks on the curb. you 
were smoking me weren't you between your yellow fingers, you just inhaled and 
exhaled without saying a word. where was your conscience? where was your 
consciousness? and what did you do with all those letters you wrote to 
yourself but could not address? there's a smorgasbord of unspoken poisons, 
the whole childhood of potions that are all bottled up, and so one by one i 
am dusting off labels, i am uncorking bottles and i am filling up cups. go 
ahead and have a taste of your own medicine. here i'll have a taste of mine, 
but first lets toast to the lists that we hold in our fists of the things 
that we promised to do differently next time. cuz the answer came like a shot 
in the back while you ran from your lesson which might explain why years 
later all you could remember the terror of the question. cause i'm not listening 
to you anymore. my head is too sore and my heart's perforated and i am mired in the marrow of my 
"well ain't that funny?" bone, learning how to be alone and 
devastated. where was my conscience? where was my consciousness? and where 
do i put all these letters that i wrote to myself but could not address?
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